L-Mega's House of Pain

So, apparantly, I am on a role with this posting on LJ. So I shall continue...
My fiance is acting like a little princess when it comes to this wedding we are to be having in the near future.
I know it's supposed to be me that tries to put us in debt, what with the dresses, and the tuxes and the flowers and the djs and the huge reception hall. But, to be quite honest, I would rather get married in a gawdy chapel in the middle of Vegas by an Elvis impersonator. OR
In one of those awesome all inclusive resorts like Sandals or Beaches or Kisses or whatever in Antigua or St. Lucia..then come back and have a huge house party.
OR
Something equally as quirky and non-traditional because I myself am quirky and non-traditional.
My fiance is a good man. He deserves a huge wedding with all the trimmings. A wedding where they carry us in on a golden calf and everyone worships us and then they throw $500 dollar bills at us wishing us good health and good fortune.
Here is the problem with that scenario. I am not Paris Hilton.
And he is not...uh...someone just as rich as Paris Hilton.

But he says he is only doing this once and it should be amazing.
It will be amazing without us hocking the child or something.

If you have any suggestions for a great celebration, sans the ulcer and the huge bill
please...speak now or forever hold your blog.

I am 33. I weigh (mumble mumble) lbs and I am 5'11. I am what most men would consider a hot chick. I am certainly not a skinny minnie. I have a bit of fluff happening around my hips(especially since I had my daughter). I think I look pretty damn good. Then Tyra Banks ended up on the cover of *insert scandal rag name here* She didn't look like she does on America's Top Model. She looked real to me. She looked like me in a bathing suit. I mean, she had no makeup on, but she was at the beach for christ's sake.
People started calling one of the most beautiful and respected models in the business...fat.
I am going to repeat this because it's just so obnoxious.
People started calling Tyra Banks (who might have gained 20 pounds, and even if it was more, she still looked great) a very respected and beautiful supermodel...FAT.

Now I ask you, my friends. If that's the word they are using to describe Tyra Banks, who I shall repeat, still looks great, what chance do real women have???

*sigh*

1: WHAT MADE YOU SMILE YESTERDAY?
my stoned friend, lil adam.
2: WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 8 THIS MORNING?
drinking coffee and staring at my email, half asleep.
3: WHAT WERE YOU DOING 15 MINUTES AGO?
drinking Snapple Mint, staring at my email-half asleep. It's been a slow day.
4: SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN 1995?
I married this guy in Borough Hall. I also left him 1995.
5: LAST THING YOU SAID ALOUD?
"...no, she was at her job for 3 years and before that she was an intern for her school"
6: HOW MANY DIFFERENT THINGS DID YOU DRINK TODAY?
coffee, water, mint snapple....
7: WHERE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND RIGHT NOW?
doing something she shouldn't I'm sure.
8: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TOOTHBRUSH?
pink.
9: LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
SNAPPLE MINT!!!! goddmam it!
10: LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sex and The City season 6 part 1
11: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR FRONT DOOR?
sanitarium white.
12: WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR CHANGE?
on the floor, under the bed, under the couch, in containers around the house, in the lint in my pocket.
13: WHAT IS THE WEATHER TODAY?
icy, yet no ice.
14: BEST ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
chocolate chip cookie dough.
15: SOMETHING YOU ARE EXCITED ABOUT?
christmas, my birthday, my hair looks good today! =/
16: LAST RAINBOW YOU SAW?
i don't rightly know. I think i lost my soul. =O
17: WHAT SIZE SHOE DO YOU WEAR?
clown
18: DO YOU HAVE ANY SISTERS?
just a half a one.
20: HOW DO YOU WANT TO CUT YOUR HAIR?
in that cool bangy, wispy, retro Chrissy Hynde/ Joan Jett hair style.
21: ARE YOU OVER THE AGE OF 18?
only in reality.
22: DO YOU TALK A LOT?
chatty kathy. thats what they call me.
23: DO YOU WATCH THE OC?
go fuck yourself and while your at it, fuck the OC
25: DO YOU KNOW ANYONE CALLED STEVE?
there is only one Steve I like...he is awesome and I've known him forever. He escaped the Steve curse.
26: DO YOU MAKE UP YOUR OWN WORDS?
only to songs...i quote directly from movies.
27: ARE YOU TICKLISH?
very. but i also get annoyed just as easy.
29: NAME A FRIEND WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH THE LETTER "D".
Doreen.
30: NAME A FRIEND WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH AN "A":
Athena....truckers child, from whence this survey came.
31: 4TH PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALLS?
i don't look on my phone for these surveys.
32: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED SAY?:
AGAIN...no.
33: DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
no, i use straws only to snort substances. You know, like pixie stix powder.
34: DO YOU HAVE CURLY HAIR?
yeah. i am a regular tall, gawky Sarah Jessica Parker.
35: WHAT IS THE NEXT CONCERT YOU'RE GOING TO?
no.
36: WHO IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?
I surround myself with cool people. Because I myself am cool.
37: WHAT SAYING DO YOU SAY A LOT?
"your mother's big fat ass"
38: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
fig newtons. cookie of the gods.
39: HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
yes. kooky.
40: DO YOU HAVE WORK TOMORROW?
always
41: EVER BEEN HUNTING?
only for men.
42: IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
why not, it's already in my past.
43: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?
this morning to my signif.
44: WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING RIGHT NOW?
working. but fuck it.
45: DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
L-Mega, Lee-Lee, boo-boo faced whore...
46: DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
no. i hate you. go away.
47: ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
even if the bomb went off...
48: LAST TIME YOU USED A SKATEBOARD?
i am way to much of a klutz to attempt a skateboard, then, now and for the rest of my life.
49: BEST MOVIE YOU'VE SEEN IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS THAT YOU HADN'T SEEN BEFORE?
Angels in America movie series...i count it, shut up.
50: WHAT KIND OF CELL PHONE DO YOU HAVE?
the kind that would hurt if shoved up an ass.
51: WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
my co-worker schmoozing some applicant.
52: ARE YOU CURRENTLY DEPRESSED?
always at least 20%
53: WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
karyn
54: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG?
right this red hot minute? Come Undone- Duran Duran
54: COOLEST MUSIC VIDEO:
Take On Me- Aha
55: WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?
black top, black pants, black sketchers, black socks, black mood.
56: CURRENT ANNOYANCE?
this survey was mildly irritating.

I think that I actually agree with metahara for once.

Does that make me culturally insensitive?

Does it mean that it's snowing in hell?

Go here: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 ...keep hitting refresh until you find five quotes that fit you, or you agree with or...you know....


The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it- Flannery O'Connor

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia- Charles M. Schulz

Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange- Robin Morgan

The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one - Jill Churchill

Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be - Clementine Paddleford

My boss is a scumsucking pig. That's right. I said it. And I hope she has a livejournal, so that she might see that I said it.
SCUM SUCKING PIG FROM HELL.

*ahem*
Anyway...

So, last week, all effing week long, this rag shit all over me. I got mildly upset, but since I am the low wo-man on the todem pole, I didn't say anything.
But yesterday, I almost punched this bitch square in her ugly mug. I really almost did. Thank God for Theen (my direct report and thankfully enough, also my friend)
So here I am. In a job that I like, doing something I am good at, getting the hated eyeball from this gyno nazi. For no good reason at all. AND if there is a good reason, she sure as hell hasn't let me in on it yet. Maybe she can come up with a good bullshit story on Thursday at the "meeting" after hours. I wonder how many times she will tell me that I don't put on the right playlist on her stupid IPOD that has nothing but effing opera and classical on it. I feel like I am in the Hobbit village everyday. I hate her so much. Or maybe she will tell me that it is my responsibility to make sure her patients get to their appointments on time. Because, apparently, it's my fucking problem that they do not.
OR maybe she will just say what is really going on in her tiny narrow-minded brain.
MAYBE she will tell me that she just doesn't like me. OR what I stand for. Maybe she will come out of her face with the truth of that matter which is probably that I intimidate the bejesus out of her...probably like my esteemed colleague, Theen also does. Because we are strong. Because we are beautiful. Because we have potential to be better than her. And she knows it. I hope it keeps her up at night.

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.  (I ALWAYS miss somebody...my kid, my mom, my mind...)	× I don't watch much TV these days.  (I am a televidiot.)	× I own lots of books.  (Actually, I don't own alot of books at all...hmm...)
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.  (Glasses right now..but wish I was wearing contacts...)	× I love to play video games.  (I am the only one that I know that would rather gouge my own eye out with a spoon than play video games.)	✓ I've tried marijuana.  (IHated it. Made me feel like dying.)
✓ I've watched porn movies.  (PIRATES is the best porn ever...(Thanks Theen))	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.  (I have HAD tons of psycho-exes though. I guess I am a bad judge of character.)	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.  (Yes. I do believe that. Which is why I get fucked every time. Listen to Depeche Mode's Policy Of Truth.)
✓ I curse sometimes.  (Like a drunken sailor.)	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.  (And Thank GOD.)	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.  (So that I may cut you.)

( it goes on... )

I just recently came back from Disney World. I took my daughter there (she's 3) along with my parents.
I haven't been there since I was a kid, and everybody needs a little Disney in their life.
Of course, my favorite ride was closed (Pirates of the Caribbean) , and poor Kali got scared of
the old hag on Snow White's Scary Adventures and something she kept referring to as "chewies" on the Winnie the Pooh ride.
It's kind of cool to see things through her eyes. I mean, I thought Mickey's Phil-Har-Magic 3D movie was kick ass. They had snippets of classic disney moments in there (The Little Mermaid cavern song, Aladdin's magic carpet ride and the marching brooms in Fantasia) with Donald Duck along for the ride. However, Kali wanted nothing to do with it. She refused to put her glasses on, and the whole time had her hands over her little ears exclaiming that it was "just too loud, Mommy"
Then there was the business of dinner with Winnie, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore. She adored Piglet. We took picture upon picture of her kissing his snout. But Winnie, Tigger and Eeyore? No way. Wouldn't let them come near her.
She did get to see something called "Cinderellabration" a dance show from Tokyo at Cinderella's castle which she seemed to enjoy thoroughly. The castle has undergone some serious changes since I was there last. It used to be bluish-grey. Now, it has gold peaks and ribbons around it and it changes different colors as it gets darker...as well as a slide show on the front that display the different castles at parks around the world.
Snazzy.

All in all it was a good day, thanks to the non-brutal weather and my mom's fast pass ticket thingy that let us get ahead of everyone on the more popular rides.

Next year, it's Universal.

=o

-that everything BAD always happens in threes.
-a song you hate will inevitably get stuck in your head all day long.
-they only call AFTER you've forgotton.
-new and improved products are really just the same product but with a different commercial.
-any movie with Hillary Duff in it...sucks.
-certain things are alot more fun in theory.

Yesterday, I went to The 1st Annual Staten Island Film Festival to see my friends rock the house with one of their episodes of Scared On Staten Island. I gotta say...first..it was the best out of all of three that were being shown that day (never mind that I am totally biased) but also, that I am so completely proud of them.
They are gonna win. And that is that.

So, because I am some kind of robot from the planet Myspace..for some unknown reason, I was having trouble getting this shit started.

But, I am here. Now...what do I do?

=)